Reflections

Reflectng today for a moment.  On my way to work this morning, I was overcome with grief, after 10 years, it still hits like a lead balloon sometimes.  The hurt, the heaviness, the pain. Not too many have shared at all since creating this blog, it seemed mission was hopeless. Its hard to talk about, but only we have each other and truly know this pain, this side of life, this new, journey.  I moved a way, another state, another place in time I remained in my home for 9 years after loosing Sierra. I felt trapped in a bad nightmare that never ended.  I now live in an area where it’s beautiful, refreshing and beautiful colorful flowering tree’s all over. After completing an undergrad and masters degree, I felt no progress. The job market was horrible and I was drowning within myself, needing to get out, needing my minds eye to see a change, beauty, progress and change.  I have all of that now.  Yet, the pain is still here.

While the pain is still appearant, the change is amazing, free and beautiful.  Dont remain stuck in your circumstances. Change your scenary and refresh your minds eye.  Dont keep reliving the nightmare, in the same dream. Change what your minds eye see’s.  While the pain will hit now and again, the sadness lurks around daily, a change in scenary will refresh the spirit and give you that extra muscle to make it through.

No Regrets, loving my change, thousands of miles away from the tradgedy.

 Missing my Sierra, my blue butterfly.