2017 has been a very trying year, my best friend reeived news no mother wants to receive, yet she still continue to help other parents, search for their missing babies. My nephew Mark Varner Jr. was found deceased. Lots of questions forever unanswered.
I have been the aunt who has always tried to reach out, just because. Once God gave us a began date, He has also decided our end date. This is the comfort He gave me in my mourning, to let me know that, no matter how hard or what we do or want for our loved ones lives, he has already put in place a time when they will return home.
I tried reaching out to my handsome smart nephew when I saw him experiencing some challenging moments in life, but no communication as received, i let it go as he would contact me if and when he wanted. I continued to pray for him as I do all of my family on a daily basis. Should I have tried harder, could I have some how made a difference? I could not have made a difference in God taking my nephew home, for his death is a mystery.
I find myself wanting to somehow, save my loved ones from the sheer pain of the reality theyre about to face in this whole cycle of, this new reality and going on with life. But, I cant, we all dont think, or see things the same way and some how if feel as if Im wanting them to see my views and what worked for me. What worked for me will not work for everyone, our faith, reality and coping mechanisms are, different.
I want to spare them of what suffered, but I cant. The reality is, we all have to go through it. My best advice now is, it will get better in time and when you feel yourself getting stuck, dont stay there. Its a part of the shocking process, just dont allow yourself to stay in that sunken stuck place.
Loss of Words, I pray for you all that, you are not allowing yourself, loved ones, or close frineds who have lost to remain in that sunken place. No words can truly heal, but prayer heals all things in time.
Rest in peace, My Nephew ( love you always)